Write, write; write right.

So I’m 15 posts into this new writing space and I feel pretty good. I feel like I’ve reinvented myself enough. I feel I’ve shed the persona of my early 20’s. Best of all,  I feel like I’m writing stuff I actually want to write.

But…

It’s hard to shake off old habits.

Like back then, I loved looking at the stats.

Oh, someone from Croatia is reading my blog. Cool.
500 page views today — damn! I am on fiiiiiiyah.
New comment, yeahhhhh *pats self on back*
Ten people re-posted this on Facebook? Alriiiiight!

Obviously, the voice in my head is an obnoxious little turd. ANYWAY —

I wasn’t obsessed with the numbers. But I took a lot of pride in watching them rise and grow. There is a thrill that comes with knowing you’re being read. The thing is, I used to write stuff that people really liked.

And that was cool because I liked those things, too. I wasn’t conforming to an audience. I was a writer who also happened to like real crowd-pleasers such as romance, hope, and self-empowerment. I wrote the heck out of those topics because I was enamoured by them.

But the older I got, the more I started to grow out of the girl who started the blog. I got tired of writing about love. I got tired of writing about hope too. My writing began sounding sloppy and forced. The numbers dropped and eventually, I closed shop. My sabbatical from online writing forced me to think about all the things I wanted to write about next.

And I guess this — where I’m writing right now — is a place for the answers.

So far I’ve written about friendship, hustling, Hamilton, routine, nationalism, and quitting Facebook — a pretty wide jump from the writer I used to be. As far as stats go, my current ones are pretty abysmal.

It’s easy to be bothered by this but every time I find myself flinching, I remind myself that the numbers do not matter. The numbers have never mattered. I am here, quite simply, to build a home for my words.

Based on my old entries that actually went viral at some point, there is a formula I could follow if I want to amass some level of online attention. But the idea makes me gag. Because, in all honesty: I don’t care about being relevant anymore. 

I just want to write.

Curating content all the time kills creativity. I want the things I post to be passion-driven. I want to sculpt ideas that matter to me whether or not they matter to anybody else. I don’t want to succumb to the perils of blogging culture. That is the quickest way to lose your voice, your words, your joy.

This time around, what I want, truly, is to gain.

If you’re thinking about getting into this whole blogging thing, here are a few words you need to avoid: viral, stats, views, followers. Throw all of that out the window. You don’t need to be controlled by numbers.

You’re a writer, baby. Write.

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3 responses to “Write, write; write right.

  1. Whenever we study literature in my classes, we always take into consideration what time in the author’s life did s/he write that and what was happening around him/her then. Writers change. People aren’t brand. They evolve and find different focal points. You should allowed be to 🙂

    And really, Ate Isa, I just want to hear your thoughts. Hehe thank you for writing online again.

    Liked by 1 person

      • “People aren’t brands.” –> THIS LINE. This. Line. This is the best line to sum up everything I just said. THANK YOU.

        Thank you for saying what you did. Even though I never needed permission to change, it is such a lovely thing to hear someone else (someone who has been reading my stuff for some time) say that it is okay. I really, REALLY appreciate your comment, Mariel. ❤

        Thank you for sticking around. 😉 Keep writing!

        Like

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